Check Up!

Good morning you FLABULOUS people!

It's been a while, yes, I know. But don't worry! I won't abandon you! I've just been too busy living in guilt and shame to post :) I say this every week but i'm serious this time....Next week will be a NEW START! I visited the doctor yesterday and I have another appointment in 2 weeks which means I better step it up or i'm going to get the wraith of the healthcare provider. Also, I finally found "my style" and this style consists of a lot of sleeveless tops and shorts which means I need to tone it up!

*dance beat*

step UP tone UP step UP tone UP step UP tone UP step uh-uh-uh-uh step UP t-t-t-t-tone UP  step UP tone UP step UP tone UP step uh-uh-uh-uh step UP t-t-t-t-tone UP step UP tone UP step UP

So yes...I FINALLY WENT TO THE DOCTOR! Apparently i'm not as bad off as I thought. My blood sugar was high but he said just continue to take the meds and read more about Diabetes to better understand it. Honestly, I think i've learned all I can but i'll do it anyways! The doc also said that the blood pressure meds I was taking were bad when combined with diabetes so he prescribed me a new one. I was also prescribed Wellbutrin, which is an anti-depressant. He said this will take the edge off of the withdraw symptoms when I stop smoking but I also have to use nicotine patches. The Wellbutrin will also be good for my mood-swings and make me less emotional, haha. As for weight loss - he said the lipo shot is okay but it's nothing amazing so I plan to stop taking that. He wanted to prescribe me phentermine (omg yes please...weight loss super drug) but he wants me to get my blood pressure down first. Grrr. He suggested that I eat a 2000 calorie diet (MFP gives me 1690 but i'm always over) and walk for - get this - 10 minutes a day and increase by 5 minutes each week. 10 minutes? Really? Okay, to be fair, I don't do my current plan of 30 minutes EVERY day. This week my feet haven't even hit the pavement. 10 minutes seems to me like it wouldn't even make a dent but then again, it's better than sitting on my ass like i'm doing now!!! The other two issues I have were "psychological" and hard for him to diagnose during the first visit - ADHD and Bi-Polar. He sorta brushed them off like I was crazy, haha, which I am. Either way, the Wellbutrin should help with both of those if they are present. OH! The doc said he wants me to do a sleep study to see if I have Sleep Apnea. Thats never really occurred to me in the past but he says that some patients with sleep apnea can develop a resistance to insulin, which could be a major factor in my diabetes, and it could push the onset of my high blood pressure. So yeah...hmm..interesting! I also had to do an EKG, which came back normal I guess. They didn't say anything about it, lol. I did a spirometry test which sees how hard I can blow. They didn't say anything about that either. Oh and, of course, blood work. I had to get stuck 4 times plus lots of digging because of my tiny, deep veins and one of the veins blew and hurt like hellll! Overall, I was very satisfied with my visit and I think this guy is a great doctor. I'm so excited to move forward with all of this and see the progress! I just have to keep telling myself that I CAN DO IT!

Weekly Recap

Oh, what a weekend!

Thursday night - Shopping at the mall and Wal-Mart with Kim. Ate at the food court - bad decision.

Friday night - Helped Elizabeth set up for Georgias birthday party for 6 hours. Ate Taco Bell - bad decision.

Saturday - Spent 4 hours truck shopping with Jon. Partied with Georgia for 3 hours. Partied with old friends for 4 hours. Worn out. Ate Wendys, OCharleys, Little Caesars, and McDonalds - horrible decisions.

Sunday - Cleaned house and had family over for my Moms birthday dinner. - Ate hamburger, hot dog, and LOTS of rotel - bad decision.

Monday - EXHAUSTED from my weekend activities and decided to take the day off of work. I think I stayed in bed the entire day. Spaghetti-o's for lunch, Popeyes for dinner - bad decision.

Tuesday - My first day of Couch To 5K - I failed. I am not to the point of jogging yet. My lungs couldnt handle it. I did walk 1.5 miles though and did some strength training. Had McDonalds for breakfast, soup for lunch, spaghetti for dinner - Not too bad, besides the McD's. I was actually under my calorie goal for once. 

Wednesday - Feeling the BURN from walking the day before. I rested today because of the pain in my shin. Began doing Wall Pushups while riding the elevator at work. Completed 60! Toast and sausage for breakfast, Subway for lunch (I was craving it) and OCharleys for dinner ("I was forced") - Would have been fine if not for the OCharleys!

Thursday - Completed 85 Wall Pushups at work as well as 40 butt clenches! I can really feel the burn in my biceps! Didn't go walking due to pure laziness. Toast and apple for breakfast (great choice!), Subway for lunch again (met with old friends - "no choice"), Bologna cups for dinner - Started the day well, ended bad.

I'm not going to defend myself. I can't continue living like this. I am determined to make this week count for something. I want to complete each day feeling good about myself and finish the week feeling accomplished. 

NOMOREEXCUSES!

On a personal note - I'm trying to discover new music. I still listen to the same music I discovered in High School! That was TEN YEARS AGO! I mean i've heard some new bands since then but, pretty much, when I turn on a playlist it's the old stuff. So, I renewed my subscription to Rhapsody where I can test out new albums without buying. Yesterday I became addicted to Lorde - Pure Heroin. It's powerful, mellow, and mysterious. I love it! I tried listening to AFI - Burial but I was honestly bored three songs in. AFI was my absolute fave back in the day but after Decemberunderground I became bored by their songs. I tried some Rotting Out. They put on such a good show but listening to the album, eh. Every song sounds the same and I can't stand that. I also gave Muck Sticky another try. Well..theres only so many songs you can sing about smokin weed and your ding a ling. I finished off the night with some Lou Reed and, maybe it was the bowl I smoked but...damn that was some good music. Of course, Lou Reed isn't new to me but I've never really just sat and experienced his music. Now I have and I am pleased! Winner of yesterday - Lorde and Lou Reed.

Besides discovering new music I've also been interested in debt relief and financial independence. A friend let me borrow Dave Ramseys book Financial Peace revisited and Americas Cheapest Family. I like what i'm learning so far! 

Spanish learning has taken a break but I really need to get back to it!

Oh, i'm getting my 3rd Lipo shot today. I thought about quitting because I haven't seen results since the first one but I told myself that this injection isn't a miracle drug. It's not going to melt away the fat on its own. I have to do the work and it will help me. I obviously didn't do that last week so heres to a fresh start....

OH! LAST THING!!! I finally submitted my application to enter the 5K Glo Run! I honestly didn't think I would commit to it but damn it I DID! And it felt good.

This blog isn't just about weight loss for me. It's about a total self transformation.

Procrasti-Nation.

Oh self...why do you fail me so? My procrastination, my laziness, my lack of self control, my ignorance of consequences - no, my lack of concern for consequences....this will all be the death of me, LITERALLY! 

Just this morning..I ate my breakfast. I'm full! I have all I need! Yet...someone brings donuts to the office. I know a donut is bad for me. I know it will screw up my blood sugar and make me feel bad. I know it will ruin my chance of being under my calorie goal. Yet, I ate not one but TWO! TWO DONUTS AFTER BREAKFAST! I mean, you can't choose between chocolate or glaze, am I right? As I'm eating it in all of it's delicious glory I am feeling disappointed in myself and then I feel disgusted as I shove down the second one. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I can't keep going this way. I know it. I just don't want to face it. I feel good about myself when I exercise and eat right so why do I continue to sabotage myself? I haven't blogged all week because...why would I want to continuously explain to you guys how I failed time and time again?  Sometimes, after eating bad, I say to myself "I'm not going to log this on MFP. It will be my little secret.". Well, I may be able to lie on MFP but my cellulite is going to tell the truth. And for the record, I unwillingly always tell the truth on MFP. As i've said, time and time again, writing down my nutrition values really puts in to perspective how horrible i'm treating my body. 

"When you feel like quitting, think about why you started"

Weighing Yourself

I've been weighing myself daily since I bought my scale last Tuesday. Every day it's like i've gained two pounds, lost two pounds, gain, lose, and so on. So I started reading up on it and, maybe this is common knowledge, lol, but when you weigh yourself daily you won't get an accurate reading. It's better to weigh yourself weekly but on the same day, same time, same clothes...keep everything even, you know?

I usually weigh in first thing in the morning after I use the bathroom, usually nakie, lol. Thats the most common, and accurate, way I've read to do it. At the moment i'm too weight-crazy that I don't know if I could stand the anticipation of waiting until the end of the week to do it but maybe I can cut it down to twice a week for now and once I get used to it i'll do it weekly. 

BTW - Food for the brain - I've been learning Spanish :) Thats another goal I hope to accomplish.

Going Downhill

Well, I can't say this has been the best week for me. Tuesday I just HAD to get out of this office so I went to lunch with my mom and didn't make a healthy choice. I had chicken tenders that were fried and heavily breaded with fries and sweet tea. In my defense, I only ate half of it all! Still, not a good choice. Then, yesterday, I again just HAD to get out of this office so I went to Chick-Fil-A and killed it again. Both days I skipped out on my workout as well. Today I did stop at McDonalds for breakfast because I woke up late and didn't have time to cook. Excuses, Excuses! This has GOT to stop! I will never learn to control my diet if I don't put the effort in to it. I am determined to drop this weight and I am determined to participate in that 5k! (I started to type run in that 5k but yeah, I know that won't happen, lmao!)

I have a new plan for exercise. The other day I noticed that along with a Food Diary there is also an Exercise Diary. It says how many calories a day/week you're suppose to burn. Apparently, my 1 mile walk does not cut it. So, I have upped my walking to 30 minutes at 3.0 mph rather than 20 minutes as well as added 30 minutes of strength training to my routine. This includes squats, lunges, calf raises, dips, and crunches. I'm also doing 1 minute of vigorous jumping jacks. 1 minute may not seem long but dude...when you're fat and jumping you've got all of this jiggle jumping with you, not to mention boob bounce, and it really takes a toll, trust me! So, with this I will burn almost DOUBLE the calories of my goal. And really...taking ONE HOUR of your evening to do these things is easier than you think and completely worth it. 

In conclusion...

NO MORE EXCUSES!

P.S. Getting my second lipo shot today! 

Testing The Waters

Well...when I thought I was doing everything I right, I pushed it too far. Over confident!

I was on budget with my calories today and I was STARVING but I knew I was doing it right. My body just needs to get used to eating less and get over its cravings for choooccooollaaattteeee! I threw a granola bar in my lunch bag today just in case. PSH...I knew I would eat that thing and...I did. I had Frito chili pie for dinner and follows all of the serving sizes BUT decided to have one extra ounce of chips. Ya blew it kid! Because of my extra snacking and the chips I ended up OVER my calorie goal. I was going to have to walk THREE miles tonight to make up for it. Seeing as I was barely active before yesterday....that's not happening. I DID get one mile in so that's something.

I have already planned out my meals for tomorrow and I am currently 300 something cals under goal. I honestly couldn't think of anything else to add to my menu!

My new plan is to walk one mile everyday this week, except Sunday which will be my rest day. Next week I will do two a day. Then three and so on until I am up to five!! This will prepare me for the 5k Glo Run on March 29th!

Wish me luck :)

Breaking Habit

So, it's my lunch time at work and I automatically thought of where I might eat out at today. I had to remind myself that I brought a HEALTHY lunch. THEN Sonic sends me a text offering $1 Chili Cheese Dogs all day! If this were last week I would be running out of that door! But I am breaking these bad habits. I'm sticking with this delicious turkey sandwich with mustard and mozzarella cheese on honey wheat bread. Don't tell anyone but....i'll miss you chili cheese dog.

Wowie Wowie...I'm hyper.

Y'all...just...y'all. I can't even express how insanely happy and hyper I am this morning! Hyper me = distracted me, lol! My brain is running a zillion miles an hour! 

Okay...blog post...blog post...

Weekend recap!! 

Friday - Went to a bar with my mom, had one drink, ate bar food - death from grease!

Saturday - My brothers birthday - pizza, cake, ice cream - sugar overload!

And then there was Sunday! The first day since I started this diet, a week ago, that I was UNDER my calorie count! GO ME! Yesterday was the first actual start day of my diet since I have the right foods now! I planned my meals for the week and even planned my exercise! Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time cleaning the house and car, which I counted as exercise, and I went for a mile walk! Lets just say, I felt great!

So next subject - THE LIPO SHOT!! 

As you read above, my food intake this weekend was disgustingly horrible. I got the lipo shot Friday at noon and within the first hour I thought I would pass out, I was so sleepy. My mom, on the other hand, felt very energetic! My sleepiness could be due to high blood sugar from my lunch, though. After a short time the sleepiness passed and I felt normal. Saturday I had a normal appetite and energy. Sunday, my appetite was normal but I had quite a bit of energy! Today I am FULL of energy. Oh, not to mention, since getting that shot I have slept great and woke up feeling refreshed! So anyway - the main reason for getting the shot - weight loss! Since Friday I have lost 6 POUNDS! Even after eating that horrible stuff! Can you believe it?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! I was  SHOCKED when I weighed myself this morning. I will continue to walk this week and see what happens! 

Next Subject - The Glo Run!

I've always wanted to do a 5k run and last year I made it a goal but failed to do so. Today, Heather and I were discussing the Run or Dye 5k when she found The Glo Run!! It's like running at night under glowy things and blacklights and junk annnd theres a DJ! How fun is that?! The only thing holding me back is the cost. Yeah, it's only $37.50 but i'm on a tight budget! I decided to suck it up, save, and I'm DOING IT! It's March 29th so we've got 4.5 weeks to get our bodies prepared. I can't run but I'm going to try to jog! Wanna join us? Heres the link!

Food Diary, Day 4

I don't even know how to start this. I guess this image pretty much sums it up. Jon took me to Mellow Mushroom Pizza for our Valentines dinner. I knew it was going to be bad but not THIS bad. I ordered a cheese and pepperoni Calzone. The name, CALzone, says everything! Now, I am proud because I only ate half of it. Thats something, right? We also had the garlic butter and Parmesan pretzels with beer cheese. Soooo good. Afterwards we went to Sonic for dessert and I had a hot fudge sundae. I honestly thought I was going to vomit, I was so full! Well, like i've been saying all week...this just makes me more aware of how my usual routine is absolutely horrible.

So...heres the damage...

Also, I wanted to point out this little reminder...

So, pretty much, if I continue to eat the way I do I would gain 14 lbs in 5 weeks. 

THANKFULLY I do not eat this way on a regular basis! Last night was just the worst of the worst.

Food Diary, Day 3

I should just stop posting this until I get my shit together, honestly. Not a single day this week have I been on my goal. In my defense I did not plan on dieting this week so I didn't, you know, plan ahead with my grocery shopping this past Sunday. Next week will be different! 

Well, yesterday wasn't as bad as the other days (especially today). I did go out to dinner at Logans Roadhouse but I only ate half of everything. I think if I would have avoided my snack of chocolate milk then my results would have been much better. Oh well, live and learn! Thats what i'm doing here, really. Learning!